Marriage is Messy. Our has been very messy, but we found the deepest love developed in our biggest struggles. Through our discoveries, we grew up and learned to practice connection. Money, status, and things did not bring us happiness. Buying the nice house, getting good jobs, having more money, and finding the best school for our kids did not improve our marriage.

We turned the pursuit of stuff into a quest for certainty and security. The trouble is that our pursuit of the American Dream/Fantasy put us on the performance treadmill. After years of pleasing, perfecting, performing, and, many times, hustling to get it right, we’ve come to the conclusion…

Darlena and I nearly destroyed one another, trying to create our idea of a perfect marriage. It took embracing our brokenness and a teachable spirit to heal our marriage.

After working on our marriage and counseling hundreds of couples for over 20 years, we didn’t feel like writing an information-only manual about how to make your marriage great. We travel across the country, ministering to couples at our Unperfect Marriage Weekend Workshops.

You don’t need another marriage conference telling you to “try harder.”
You need space to breathe, reconnect, and be honest—without pretending everything’s fine.

The Unperfect Marriage Weekend is a two-day encounter featuring five powerful sessions and opportunities for personal ministry, designed to help couples grow deeper—not just gain information.